This particular awards show has a lot of weight to it. It is the legit year of the diva. Etta James recently passed. Whitney Houston very suddenly passed away last night. Adele rules the universe using that old hand held thing we call a compact disc. There will be exciting performances and terrible performances. Justin Vernon may be really sarcastic. It's all fun and games. Here is my retro diary following the event.
Full disclosure. I missed the first hour and a half (because the best time to play 60s wind band compositions is on a Sunday night from 8 to 9), so I taped that and watched the rest of the show live. Because of that, this retro diary might seem a little disjointed.
8:00: There is only one good way to start The Grammys. Find someone old who still rocks hard and let them do their thing. Today we get this show started with Bruce Springsteen who wants to make sure that everyone is conscious and breathing before he starts his catchy riffs with introspective Americana lyrics. This performance is pretty good, but just like Paul McCartney, I don't get why The Boss is here right now. It's Diva night for goodness sakes. How did he get Little Steven out of his garage? "We Take Care of Our Own" seems to be the name of the song. I dig. Bruce always helps me dig being an American. He is a man of the people (with expensive earrings). I am a sucker for simple shouts like "Hey! Hey!" They're fun, I don't care who you are. The dramatic bow from the whole band was interesting.
8:05: Ok LL let's see what you've got. A strong and honest start with a touching prayer to Whitney. I dig that he isn't hiding talking to God on this. Definitely something different. Unfortunately he would be pretty annoying for the rest of the show. I don't hate LL at all. And it ends up working out that he hosted the show where they had to confront Whitney's death. Billy Crystal or David Letterman might have come off a little sarcastic or silly for this. But LL comes off genuine. Unfortunately, he is simply not very funny.
8:13: Bruno Mars brought a horn section! Ok these Grammys are gonna be just fine. I seriously do wish that LL Cool J was funny though. Bruno looks like Little Richard but without the creepiness. This is meant to be a compliment to both. Will this song Bruno is playing be a new single, because it should be. "Get off your rich asses and have some fun." That seems to be a bold thing to say Bruno, because I would bet the royalties from your hit single "Just the Way You Are" that you're rich. Bruno needs to put away the slacker dude mentality that some of his hits have given him and go with this classic funky approach because it's just plain fun. And considering everything on the radio sounds pretty watered down right now, this new tune would be very refreshing.
8:22: Bonnie Raitt is on. Just Vernon is drooling right now. Alicia Keys and Bonnie are doing a tribute to Etta James. This is very nice. Two great voices that probably haven't worked together before. "Sunday Kinda Love" is also a great tune. Man these two need to do something else together because this sounds great. I wished they would have harmonized a little together. That would have been an interesting sound.
--And now we'll pass out an award even though the real award is that we got to listen to Alicia and Bonnie sing for 2 minutes.
--And Adele wins the first award of the night. Something tells me it won't be her last (see this is funny because I've watched most of the show already). Adele is awkward in a great way. Has anyone ever said they need to take their shoes off at the Grammys due to height issues? Someone look into this.
8:27: Chris Brown is gonna show off how good of a dancer he is and how averageish a singer he is. He does both of these things without a hitch. He will show up again later and walk around for a while. Is Chris Brown good enough that we can see him twice in this show? Paul McCartney, The Boss, The Foo Fighters, and a couple others are. But I'm not so sure that Chris Brown is worth that much camera time. Oops he just gave up on lip syncing. I'm ok with this. He is here to dance. His singing just helps him sell iTunes downloads, so he can show up on awards shows and get more camera time than other better artists.
--While we are on this subject, why are there so many artists tonight showing up twice? Did the Grammys get turned down by anyone other than Bon Iver? Come on people get some variety out there. Where's Bob Dylan? More old guys!
8:37: Fergie mentions that LL is a rap icon hosting the Grammys. This is only partially true. He is a rap icon who is paid by CBS to be on a cop show, so he owes them for keeping him in the entertainment industry. The dude is under contract, so calm down. "Otis" wins. Jay and Ye are no-shows! Dude they are snubbing the Grammys for snubbing them. There is no other explanation. Kanye is too aware of award shows to accidentally schedule something. Maybe the whole fam (Beyonce, baby, Jay and Ye) is watching at home making fun of Taylor Swift for trying to be angry.
--Ok Kelly is doing her thing with Jason Aldean. This is something that Kelly needs to embrace more. She has the chops to be a great country singer and it would extend her career longer than if she kept trying to recreate "Since You've Been Gone." I trust her to make the right choice for her, but it requires further thought. Hey how old is "Don't You Wanna Stay?" anyway? Worst part of the Grammys is how completely strange their timing for awards recognition is. I'm not completely convinced that Jason's mic didn't accidentally turned off at the end there.
8:48: Jack Black is legally required to keep rock and roll popular and fun. He had a pretty funny Bon Iver joke at least (now the sole representative of the indie rock scene, which everyone seems to forget to Album of the Year last year thanks to the Arcade Fire). Do your hard rocking thing Foo Fighters. It sounds good, but slightly predictable. If I were there I would be mashing though. Is it possible that the Foo Fighters matter right now because they are just doing traditional hard rock? Is it original to be unoriginal?
8:58: I forgot that Rihanna is from Barbados. I don't think that helps me appreciate her more. I like how the Grammys is advertising this performance with Coldplay as unique even though it is from a Coldplay record. The unique part is that Coldplay is jamming with Rihanna on one of her previous hits (maybe they are, it might just be someone else). Rihanna is doing her typical move acting like a cheap sex kitten while still sounding good. The only problem with that vibe is it's being done by at least one or two other people in tonight's performance.
--I actually like the Coldplay/Rihanna collaboration song "Princess of China." It still sounds like Coldplay yet still sounds like Rihanna. But the melody and song structure itself seem a little underdeveloped. "Paradise" is unfortunately the worst song on the album which means we get to hear it a whole bunch because it is the most immediately catchy on first listen. Chris Martin is very polite. Not much else interesting to say about this.
9:13: I just realized LL has been wearing a hat this whole time. Come on man, get over that. We know you're bald and there is nothing wrong with it. On another note, the Giants being here seems dumb. Thank goodness Victor can dance. And introducing the rock award seems just as weird too. I am glad the Foo Fighters won because it's possible the players have heard of them. Foo Fighters won by not spending any money and using a tape machine. How many other people in the room can say that (the answer is none but some of them are better)? Oh the Foo Fighters just got silenced. Sorry gentlemen. Guys who used computers gotta take over.
--Ok, they couldn't get Bob Dylan again, but we will have a jam session with Maroon 5, Foster the People, and fresh off the release of The Smile Sessions, The Beach Boys. Maroon 5 sounds great. Respectable while not trying to master the falsetto parts. Foster the People are also going to totally do this respectful. Well done modern rock people. Great harmonies all around. The Beach Boys have gotten a great set up; let's see if they can take it and run with it. The Beach Boys can still put on a good show. Brian Wilson even had some fun with the theremin part and yes, I did just say Brian Wilson and fun in the same sentence. A prize tonight to Foster the People for their period outfits and tight harmonies.
9:30: We are now enjoying the Trustee Awards which are awesome cause no one knows anything about them. Except Steve Jobs just won one! But why?
-- Stevie Wonder is now on, and the fact of the matter is he never goes wrong on the Grammys. He is the only presenter who can randomly sing during his introduction (or play the harmonica?!), and it doesn't seem all that weird or stupid. The fact that he is introducing Paul McCartney helps out. Two old guys that please fans on a wide variety of levels.
-- I don't get into much Paul McCartney other than the Beatles stuff, but that doesn't mean it isn't good. How long has this guy been writing songs that matter? And at what point did he approach the songwriting 10,000 hours? I think it was recently, because this performance seems like it should be corny with a full orchestra and Diana Krall (thanks for just holding down the keys and not taking over even though you are the best singer up there) and Joe Walsh. But it was really pleasant. I think Paul McCartney's staying power has to do with his sense of humor. He doesn't take himself too seriously.
9:35: Gil-Scott Heron just got a shout out which was the right move. Not enough people realize how key he was for hip-hop. When I taught a hip-hop unit at Eastern Greene, I barely mentioned Heron even though he is so important to the genre. Common demands respect, but he is giving the Best R&B award which no one cares about except Chris Brown, who should really care about how much of a jerk he is. Button up your shirt punk.
9:40: Hey Civil Wars, don't tell jokes. Just jam because you sound good, really good. This is a strange intro to Taylor Swift, but I will happily take it. This duo has got some grit, but is also very catchy. They also have the blues, which is something not enough popular music acknowledges these days. Now they have to stop early because they told too many jokes and Taylor Swift has to go pitch-hunting.
-- Did Taylor have a similar backdrop last year? Also, I question her banjo chops, though country choreography is kind of funny. This song is good and has some heart to it, but as my roommate Kyle says, "ok Kanye, where are you?..." Taylor is now going into the center of the ring which always seems forced and how she seems to be doing a hard rocker stance with a song that is very old school bluegrass meets contemporary pop. She is awful cute though.
9:50: Neal Patrick Harris is a hot little number. He decides to tell no jokes for the Song of the Year intro. This is, of course, funny. Adele wins. Her speaking voice is borderline hideous, which is perfect. Adele is everything that matters.
--"She can even shoot fireworks out of her boobs." That's right it's Katy Perry time! As you can imagine she is wearing something extremely strange that is somehow also very sexy. This smells like a medley which is easily one of the worst parts of the Grammys. Wait a minute, everything messed up and went black. Was that on purpose? It seems so. Goodbye alien song. I am not sure what single they are doing now, but it is probably about ex-husband Russell Brand. Do you realize that Katy Perry has 6 number one hits from one album, which is more than Michael Jackson had for Thriller? If you hate Katy Perry, you hate popularity. It seems strange that they only did two songs in the medley, none of them being the most popular.
10:00: It's best country album time. Dirks Bentley and Miranda Lambert just forgot to announce the names, so now I barely know any of the songs they are announcing. Oh! Lady Antebellum just upset Taylor Swift. If you saw that comin' than you're a Mayan. Somewhere, Kanye is laughing.
One thing I appreciate about the Grammys is that they try and do a lot for music education. When I was teaching music at Eastern Greene, I looked into signing up for some grant money. Unfortunately, somehow we weren't poor enough to qualify. The Grammys really concentrate on the inner city and even some super rural places. The rules are tight, but it's still nice to see that they are doing something on a public stage for music education. Hopefully public education still exists for the Grammys to send their money towards.
10:05: It's Adele time! Of course they chose the prettiest woman in the room to introduce a chubby British genius (that Gwyneth just won't go away). You know what, Adele still looks great. Adele shows her chops early by starting a capella. In your face Taylor! This also looks like it won't be a medley. Ten points for Adele. She sounds like she doesn't have the full range of the voice, but she is definitely matching that with the soul of the song. Just laying it down. "Rolling in the Deep" is a great song for several reasons, but one of them has to be an isolated clapping solo for the background singers. Bam. In your face. Adele just brought down the house. She stays in her vocal range and puts subtle inflections that only the people who know the song forward and backward (which is everyone) would get. That was a performance that was probably downright inspiring live. The standing ovation lasted at least one extra minute than would seem normal. Adele should have gone offstage and come back on for a bow like conductors do, but that might seem forced. Huge stage+giant high heals=stand there and soak in your awesomeness. This was definitely a highlight Grammy moment (for all those pitch nerds out there, don't worry about how in tune it was, just enjoy it).
10:16: A tribute to Glenn Campbell (The Rhinestone Cowboy). The Band Perry is gonna kick us off. I kind of know these songs and like them, but I really don't know much about Glenn Campbell. I do know that The Band Perry sounds great and is one of many reasons that I have enjoyed becoming a country music fan. Now Blake Shelton will help us out with a classic-rendition of a song that I really wish I knew more about ("Southern Night"). I really should have done more research before I did this. Just stop reading now. No really. Stop. Ok. Just kidding. Please keep reading. Here comes Glenn Campbell with "Rhinestone Cowboy." This is one of those songs that we all know and would sing at a karaoke bar but probably not too much otherwise. Still a nice performance. So is Glenn Campbell doing a tribute to himself? That takes stones....rhinestones (feel free to boo me now). Campbell seems to really love his choir in the background. He keeps mentioning it during the song, along with his gender-equality ending.
-- A very nice Lifetime Achievement Awards list including Glenn Campbell, The Memphis Horns, George Jones, the Allman Brothers Band, Antonio Carlos Jobim, and Diana Ross. That is one heck of a list. It is slightly unfortunate that Glen Campbell was the only one they could get to come in.
10:27: It seems that Super Bowl commercials that didn't get a lot of play last week are getting another run tonight. Good to see you again Flava Flave. Please take care of Sir Elton.
10:30: Carry Underwood is cute. I am only three degrees away from her too (my hairdresser's husband hunts with her dad). Tony and Carry are going for it. Carry needs to stay simple because that's what Tony does. My roommate tells Carry hello. She doesn't respond. Amy Winehouse obviously sounded better with Tony, but Carry is doing a great job here. She held her own in fine style. And she is cute (many apologies to Nora for all the female appreciation here). What this has to do with the New Artist category I don't know. Bon Iver with the win! Watch out people. He doesn't really like the Grammys. He is being very respectful and making a good point about all the quality bands that will never even approach this stage even though they make great music. He also shouts out his hometown of Eau Claire (great college to study jazz) and his parents. Other dudes would have been sarcastic, but Justin Vernon played it cool and didn't bring down the vibe while still seeming genuine. Good for you, Justin. Bad for the gossip columnists.
10:35: Time for the douche bag. There will probably be some jazz coming up here, which is unfortunate that the only way they can get jazz is to follow the dorky white guy. But the stuff he is saying about music education is important. We will take the douche part off his title. He is just a bag. 12 million dollars for music is a lot of money. Now lets hear from cool people about MusicCares. It seems that they help keep musicians afloat. Hey people pay your musicians (notice I didn't say publishers-- they matter, but not as much as they get payed for). Either way please buy music or if you get it for free do it with permission. There ya go, I said this speech in under a minute. Oh no, no jazz today. Thank goodness Diana Krall was here. Time for the people who passed away-- Amy Winehouse, Jerry Leiber, Heavy D, Steve Jobs, Nate Dogg, a whole bunch of other people that were important but their names are rolling around too fast,
Etta James, Camilla Williams, Milton Babbit (he matters a lot to 20th century composition), Clarence Clemons, and Whitney Houston.
-- Jennifer Hudson showing props to Whitney Houston. This is really touching. Goosebumps-style. You need to google this or youtube this performance of "I Will Always Love You" ASAP. That was amazing. A positive tribute to yet another tumultuous life of a diva.
-- When Amy Winehouse died, I was just getting back into Back to Black. The news of her death got to me because I was digging inside her music and finding out that she was truly great and had more music to make. I even said at the time that Adele was great, but Amy Winehouse would have caught up with her if she got sober. But that didn't happen, and we won't hear any new music from Amy. But what about Whitney? Most of her music was made, so does that mean her sudden death is less tragic? Certainly not, but what we take from it might be a bit different.
10:50: ?uestlove makes things cooler, which this strange dance tribute may desperately need. A good dance party always starts by watching Chris Brown walk towards something. The beat is definitely hip though. By the way David Guetta is a total dork. Please don't disagree. It's cool that a dork makes good dance music, but look at him. He probably got kicked out of the band Garbage at one point and bought some DJ gear. More power to him.
-- Welcome back from jail Weezy! Weezy stop singing. Or yelling. Whatever that was.
-- Alright Foo Fighters, fight that foo. They are rocking they're funkyish tune "Rope" which is a pretty dance-esque song, but I'm interested in how it belongs here during this tribute to dance. Deadmou5 is gonna try to justify it but wearing a mask and using strange colors. Unfortunately it makes the song a little flatter. Deadmou5 rocking by himself is cooler if not as partyrocking than trying to get help from Foo's worst enemy.
FACT: Deadmou5 is strange. This is fine at Bonneroo or the club with drugs involved (I am probably gonna get a couple tracks on iTunes because he intrigues me that much). But this is the Grammys dagnabbit. Water it down a little bit buddy (I realize now how hypocritcal this comment is compared to my Nicki Minaj opinion. Sorry about that Deadmou5). Remember, your target audience is genuinely excited that Paul McCartney wrote a Valentine's Day song. Be yourself, but do what Bon Iver did and demand to be by yourself instead of trying the strange collaboration. I still give the whole thing a B though.
11:04: LL Cool J probably shouldn't talk during the commercial break. Alright everybody hush up. It's Nicki time.
--Quote roommate Kyle: "What the hell?!" Music videos shouting out The Exorcism. It looks like Minaj's version of Sasha Fierce has a few more personal issues. Now most people will probably talk about how dumb and weird this is tomorrow morning (actually they talked about it the night of; facebook blew up after that performance and that is exactly what Nicki wanted), but "The Exorcism of Roman" is exactly what artists have been hoping Nicki would do. She is a really weird cat and definitely seemed crappy from the outset, but songs like "Super Bass" just seemed like copies of Katy Perry songs with a hint of weirdness in her rap style. This is a full out emergence of what I like about Nicki Minaj, but unfortunately might not be very popular. Keep at it Nicki. A lot of us love it.
(It turns out not very many of us. I have seen some of the most hateful dumb things said about this performance on the facebook. I'm telling you guys, this was a weird thing and you may not have liked it, but it was original and interesting. And most of the people complaining about music today are saying how unoriginal it is. Well guess what, yo' fault. Here is original and you didn't roll with it.)
11:12: Adele wins record of the year. I would have thrown something at the TV if she didn't, even though I dig Bon Iver more. Also, I know I've mentioned this already, but Adele really has a different speaking voice. "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain." Seriously, she sounds like Eliza Doolittle from "My Fair Lady." I think that only helps the case that she is one of the best singers in the business today. That, and she is winning all these awards that say she is the best.
11:18: More important than being a diva icon, Diana Ross put LL Cool J on tv. That, I guess is important. Thanks LL. Go away. Ladies and gentlemen, Adele wins Album of the Year for 21. The academy decided not to screw over the people who deserved it most this year. Good for Adele. Good for them. I hope she keeps making great music. And I love that she is freaking out right now. Its good that this matters to her. This is quite lovely. Oh no, snot! Get it out! 10 points to Rick Rubin who supposedly has influenced every popular music icon ever.
11:23: Is Paul your homey LL? He is a friggin' knight dude. He was in the Beatles for crying out loud. He is singing songs right now that are iconic and they are from his slightly deeper catalogue. He is not your homey even if he really is. This performance is great, but I don't totally get it. Why is Paul McCartney the man tonight? Is he just flexing his immortal muscles? If so, I am happy to enjoy it. Thanks Paul for playing some great music that doesn't necessarily apply to the rest of the night. These Grammys could have gone the somber road but now we are rocking some fairly awkward guitar solos trading fours. For the record Dave Grohl is kicking everyone else's tail with only two different licks. Also I think The Boss's guitar is plugged in weird. "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make..." I don't get why Dave Grohl can do this but can't fly to Seattle to help do a Nirvana tribute, but that's probably an unnecessary quip here. This was a fun send off that had nothing to do with anything, which is good. Well done Grammys. You made my blog crazy long so no one will read it. I blame Chris Brown.
dood srsly you love bill simmons.
ReplyDeletePh yeah. Not as much as Chuck Klosterman but close.
DeleteWell done sir.
ReplyDeleteI loved Nicki Minaj's performance. She's so quirky - and a fantastic rapper.
I read it. most of it. I skipped a couple paragraphs in the middle. but twas interesting anyways since i didnt watch them, im gona have to go youtube some of these performances to see what i think about them now lol
ReplyDelete